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ILLEGAL SUBSTANCES   I    RIGHT TO ARM BEARS   I    THE BOB SOUTHEY   I    ASK VINNIE

 
The Robert Southey Ursine Residence
Elegant living for the discerning bear

If you are a bear escaping persecution from a life of circus tricks, dancing or farming, then you've come to the right place. Here in Berkshire we have everything you need, whether it be chatting with friends in coffee shops or living a frugal life of arboreal simplicity in a white-washed cottage in the middle of the forest. Most bears choose to join us at The Bob Southey, which offers modern living in a ursine environment, and apartments to suit any sized pocket.


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The Bob Southey Block is situated on Salmon Drive, opposite Prospect park. Our friendly and not at all hierarchical non-dominating blunt-canine staff will help you readjust to your new life, as well as offer hints and tips on how to live in the human environment. Despite the relative freedom within Berkshire's ursine safe-haven, there are rules and regulations that must be adhered to in order to operate a good working relationship with our human hosts. You will have heard of the rules regarding porridge and honey use, so be smart and drop in to see us.
   

   
If you are partly or wholly anthropo-morphized, The Bob Southey is the place for you. As well as featuring 220 self-contained maisonettes in typical Ursine style, we also have a solarium, health spa with indoor salmon flipping lake and a state-of-the-art medical centre with a 24hr on-call dentist for all those annoying fang problems. Even if you haven't been keeping up with your Ursine Medical Plan, all the treatment at the Bob Southey is FREE, another good reason why you should drop in and see us.
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Regulated and licensed by the International League of Ursidae, the Bob Southey is funded entirely by bears and receives no human help at all, which is the way we like it. But because of this the Bob Southey is always in need of funds, so we are asking all bears, irrespective of hierarchical ranking, to assist in the financing of our good work. The residential letting office is situated in the sumptuously appointed main lobby, or you can call us on 0800 SOUTHEY. The Bob Southey - Elegant living for the discerning bear.
   


ILLEGAL SUBSTANCES   I    RIGHT TO ARM BEARS   I    THE BOB SOUTHEY   I    ASK VINNIE